I remember the good old days when infrequent sightings of rabbits in our neighborhood seemed quite charming. Those days are gone. Those scrawny, timid rabbits are gone, too. They’ve been replaced with chubby, bold marauders—the bane of my existence.
The first battle was over our lawns—both front and back. Between the rabbits and the drought, we lost the war, understanding attempts to renew the conflict would end in similar defeat. We couldn’t see the sense in buying sod or reseeding with that army of rabbits laying low on the perimeter. We decided on a different course.
A trip to Costco provided the inspiration necessary to turn our backyard into a raised bed vegetable garden with surrounding flower beds. Soon, our pre-fab wooden beds were filled with premium soil—meticulously hand-mixed by my husband and me in a trash can.
We started modestly with a couple of tomato plants, a cucumber and zucchini. It was soon obvious, rabbits like zucchini. Even so, we managed to grow a few. Our cherry tomatoes were astounding and lasted until Christmas. We proceeded to plant all our beds with winter crops; peas, lettuce—I was all in and we achieved success. Last summer, not so much.
It’s kind of like wild kingdom in our backyard, except we seem to be lacking predators. Helpful gardening books recommend planting enough of each crop to share with our wild neighbors. Unfortunately, the wild neighbors are not interested in sharing with us. We’ve managed to keep the rabbits out of our backyard recently, but squirrels ate all our pomegranates. I even found a squirrel grazing contentedly on my lettuce crop. Apparently, rats ate every tomato from our vines.
In the front yard, we built a patio and proceeded to plant roses in the surrounding beds. I had visions of a luscious spring garden filled with roses and pansies but noticed the pansies didn’t seem to be growing and were, in fact, shrinking. I suspected the neighborhood rabbit colony might be feasting at our expense, so I visited the nursery center to inquire about my notions.
The nursery lady laughed at me. “Yep, rabbits sure do love pansies.”
I wish I’d known that before I invested in all those flats.
So, it was with a bit of trepidation when I set out to decorate my front and back patios for Easter. I eyed the rabbits displayed in stores with no small amount of animosity. How could I possibly find any joy in purchasing likenesses of my dread enemies? But then, how could I decorate without them? I finally bit the bullet and found a few weatherproof specimens for my display, realizing fully they didn’t have eyes, or a mouth or other humanizing characteristics.
The fact the front yard patio chairs are red provided a further challenge. I copied an interesting rabbit pillow made of red-striped ticking I found on Pinterest. They don’t have mouths either, or any feet. They are completely at my mercy.
I rarely see hawks in our neighborhood and only the occasional owl. I haven’t seen a coyote in years. If it would do any good, I’d gladly post a sign outside. Predators Welcome–Free Lunch. Too bad, those varmints can’t read.
In the meantime, I’m contenting myself with a super-duper animal repellent recommended by the same lady who laughed at my pansy predicament. So far, it might actually be working. The pansies are showing signs of growth, though it’s unlikely they’ll make much of a display at our Easter gathering. Tiny leaves of lettuce are sprouting in the vegetable bin. I optimistically planted a tomato. But all-out war continues to loom on the horizon.